It should start around 5.30 and be educational as well as physical, to help Resolutionaries know about exercise form, gym and machine etiquette, diet, nutrition, recovery, goals, etc… and it should include an exercise session, with light to moderate exercises – a good, modest workout that gets their heart rates up. I wish the Y would host a few sessions in the gymnasium (basketball courts) that new members coming in January would have to attend before being allowed in to the fitness center, spinning, TRX, Bodypump or other areas/classes. You don’t invade Russia in the winter, and you don’t invade the gym in January. I imagine they had to scurry home to actually prepare the new healthy meals they swear they are going to eat forever… this time. I planned ahead and did spinning with my girl, then I wandered into the fitness center fairly late because the Resolutionary Army had started to thin out. I had already planned on not going into the Y’s fitness center to hit the free weights in anticipation of the Resolutionary Army© setting up camp, but still went to the Y (I love our Y. It was bad (crowded beyond belief) last night. I don’t hate them, per se, but I do hate this time of year. Gym at the start of the year is like shopping in December or driving in rush hour traffic - it’s not so much any specific action that sets me off, but just the sheer number of people fills me with a low-level annoyance and magnifies small irritations that I’d normally shrug off. But since this thread is about what we hate the most, I will say their number is pretty overwhelming. The mindset of starting afresh in the new year appeals to me, so I can empathise with people who begin working out in January, even though it’s a pretty horrible time to start. They also monitor the floor pretty well - I’ve seen guys get kicked out for messing around with the swiss balls, and the instructors will re-rack weights if they’ve been abandoned for too long. My gym also makes people do an introductory session where they get taught the basics and there are lots of signs reminding people about gym etiquette. I generally don’t mind it - the influx of new people (which at my gym is in March when uni starts) is one of the rare times when I’m not the weakest in the room. So, what do you hate most about the Resolutioners/ Resolutionary Army? Nobody will know what they’re doing, everyone will ask for help, and many will nervously giggle in spite of their stupidity. I know that tomorrow (I skipped today, fearing the worst) my 6pm primarily-female weightlifting class will be packed to the gills. They congregate in the middle of the floor, have conversations on their cell phones while on machines, and leave detritus in their wake. They receive zero to minimal instruction on gym etiquette and machine use. People gain weight from the holidays and BAM, it’s time to make New Year’s resolutions! Despite the overwhelming evidence that New Year’s resolutions don’t last - particularly fitness goals - these bloated bodies waltz in and out, clogging up the Ellipticals, the parking lots, essentially treating the gym like the latest new widget. Dubbed the “Resolutionary Army” by Philster, the Resolutionary army mounts a total gym coup d’état the first week of January.
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